Where’s Our Military Stonewall?
Several weeks ago, many in our community were entertained at the sold-out “Tantrums & Tiaras” fundraiser for Mama’s Kitchen. It was a hysterically outlandish event filled with over-the-top drag performances, mile-high hair and, to everyone’s surprise, a real life donkey! While I sat in awe at the spectacle on stage with cameras flashing all around me, I couldn’t help but reflect back on a time when drag queens took an enormous risk even being seen out in public.
Our pioneer drag queens were literally ‘dragged’ into jail because of who they were. And, as we know, it took a bunch of drag queens in 1969 New York City to lead a retaliation against police brutality and targeted raids of their community bar – an establishment known to cater to homosexuals – to write the Stonewall Riots into the history books and so began the American LGBT civil rights movement. These drag queens simply had enough. They could only take so much. They wanted equality and respect. So do our LGBT brothers and sisters who serve in silence.
Harvey Milk said it best, “I can’t prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.”
So, keeping Harvey’s words in mind, how is it possible for those serving in silence to have their own Stonewall, so to speak? Some would argue that such an act would undermine the good order and discipline of our Armed Forces. I would agree. Each branch of the military prohibits and restricts service members from participating in demonstrations, public persuasion and distribution of written material. Any such participation would constitute immediate disciplinary action and, quite possibly, removal from military service. I would never advocate inciting such acts, but the question still remains: what must happen to end our service members serving in silence? My only answer: we. We must happen – for them. We being veterans, civilians, men, women and voters. It’s going to take the collective to fight for them. And, it’s only fair. Our service members serving in silence because of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell put their lives and livelihoods on the line defending our freedom every day. Can’t we honor them back by fighting for their freedom?
Across the board in many national polls, Americans support the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. But why isn’t anything happening? How is it possible that the repeal of DADT has more consensus support than even LGBT marriage equality, yet nothing has been done?
As a veteran, I feel it’s my continuing duty to defend all Americans. That sentiment is shared by many who have served their country. I am blessed with many friends who have never served in the military but go above and beyond the call of duty to defend those who do serve under DADT. They see the ‘bigger picture.’ The freedoms they hold so dear, as Americans, are compromised because those who protect their freedom are themselves compromised. So, we must be the warriors who go above and beyond to defend them. We must talk to members of congress. We must do everything we can with our voices to speak out against this dysfunctional military policy, because those who serve have no voice.
Today is Veterans’ Day. Cities across the country are holding parades, receptions and events to honor our service members. Here in San Diego, the local chapter of American Veterans for Equal Rights (AVER) is making its sixth appearance in the Veterans’ Day Parade. In the years AVER has participated, we’ve experienced a great deal of support across the board. People wave at us and say “thank you” as our contingent passed by. One year, an elderly veteran wearing an American Legion garrison cap tried with all his might to stand up from his wheelchair and salute us. Girl Scouts even gave us all roses. All the while, our vehicle proudly displayed a rainbow flag. Keep in mind, that rainbow flag carries a message of its own. I’ve seen people stand, stare and point at it with shock in their eyes. I remember once seeing a young woman sitting along the parade route talking to another woman sitting next to her. As we neared their location, they started pointing to the flag. What struck me about these particular women was that one kept wiping tears from her eyes. Upon our approach, the woman who crying began applauding, whistling and shaking her fist in the air. When we finally made eye contact she screamed, “thank you for being here!” That single act alone made our presence in the parade worth it.
We in the LGBT community have to fully support the repeal of DADT, remembering that there are young LGBT men and women separated from their loved ones on deployment or at war. These LGBT men and women are making sacrifices for our freedoms. We, yes WE, must realize that it’s up to us, our allies and supporters to demand that Don’t Ask, Don’t tell be repealed. So, today, on Veterans’ Day, if you have a friend or family member in the military or you see a young man or woman out in uniform, take the first step in the fight and simply say “thank you.” May that Veteran be gay or straight, thank them. This means the world to those who serve, especially those who serve in silence.
Today, on Veterans’ Day, I speak on behalf of my LGBT brothers and sisters in America’s armed forces, by saying thank you for your support. Please, honor them by fighting for their freedom. Demand the repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Come forward, step up, call your Representative, tell everybody, wear a sign and let the world know – enough is enough.
Today, Veterans Day, two members of our Armed Forces will be discharged because who they are. Tomorrow, two more members of the Armed Forces will be discharged because they are gay and so on. As we honor those who have served this nation with honor and distinction, it is important to remember that many of those veterans who served did so in silence. They got up each day, and did their job whether it be flying a mission over hostile territory for cooking meals. The point here is that until we stand up for those who cannot speak for themselves, this country will never fully live up to the promises of our founding fathers….and mothers. So today, if you do nothing else, when you see someone you know to be active duty, or a veteran who happens to be gay, acknowledge their service above and beyond the call of duty.
I am a former member of the United States Air Force. I am a patriotic Gay American who served with pride in our armed forces. I salute the efforts of all from the LBGT community who have given of themselves to promote equality within the military ranks. God Bless America…God Bless our Gay Vets!