Cody Wilde: Tackling the Gay Cliques
I can’t speak for anybody else, but is it just me, or has being a gay man in today’s society turned from ‘out, proud, strong and united’ to cliche high school cafeteria games?
It’s funny to me. Not so much in a humorous or satirical way. Just, dare I say, a queer way. I mean, here I sit, about to turn 25 having graduated high school nearly seven years ago, and I feel like I’ve been thrown back into hanging out with the same cliques I was with during high school. No, I am not calling my friends of SoCal or the Midwest ‘juvenile’ — not even saying it’s my friends that I see this with — it’s just a general observation in the growing gay community around me. In high school, I was the preppy jock who hung out with everyone: the geeks, the Drama club queens, the bonehead jocks, the airy cheerleaders, the over-achievers, the under-achievers and, yes, even us closeted homosexuals…all five of us. Today, I find myself seeing similar cliques and stereotypical titles being placed on people in the LGBTQ community.
Yes, I will say, I am as guilty as the next gay of putting said titles on guys who I see in bars, clubs, coffee shops and at Pride. There are Daddies, Bears, Jocks, Queens, Twinks and more. But what’s the point of having those titles? Aren’t we all simply gay? I mean, it’s bad enough that gay men establish preferences like ‘masculine over feminine’ when it comes to dating or even just making friends. Do we have to become the high school ‘Mean Girls’ in our own community? And, to make matters worse, we judge each other based on popularity, friendships and those organizations/clubs we affiliate with. Why do we henpeck and drag down one another instead of building up and supporting each other? We should stand beside each other in the fight for equality, tolerance and above all else, acceptance.
Some people may read this and say, “that’s just the way society is.” But honestly, I feel that’s an unacceptable answer. How are we as a gay community (no matter where we live) supposed to stand up and fight together when we are too busy fighting each other, creating drama and refusing to accept each other?
Folks, let the high school kids play the clique game. We’re adults…let’s act like it. Let’s quit judging, invoking shame, putting on false airs about who we are and realize that we’re all human and need to survive in unison.
Remember a few posts back, I said that 2010 is the ‘Year of Transition.’ I strongly feel that we, as a community, would benefit by focusing inward and learning how to truly be more inclusive and tolerant of others.
Farewell, my friends. And, don’t be afraid to be yourselves.
Cody Wilde — over and out.
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